Robants 1

In a mansion in the suburban part of the city lived a very sweet boy with his little sister and parents. His father was a senior lawyer in the city and spent most of his time getting crooks off the hooks of justice. His mother owned the largest fancy restaurant in the city. We do not know what it’s called because we don’t eat in restaurants, well… not the human ones. His little sister owned the largest collection of robot toys. He himself loved the outdoors but was not allowed to wander outside the perimeter hedge that surrounds their house.

What are you doing Timmy? Are you writing a story again? What is it about? How boring you are?

Great! Now you guys are here. Quit teasing me and help me with this boxes. The old lady said she needs them at the restaurant. If we don’t get there in time I’ll be scolded.

We will help you if you tell us the story you are writing.

Okay Lisa, I’ll tell you. First pick up the boxes that have grain.

Ha ha ,very funny, you know I can’t.

The whole group laughed and picked up the boxes except Lisa. She got to carry the basket with leaves. The old lady said that in her restaurant grain will only be served on fresh leaves and I know just where to find them. The hedge was watered daily and pruned every fortnight. The freshest leaves were found at the top. It was a steep climb that only Lisa could make so we excused her from carrying boxes.

Tell us the story now mate.

Ooooo I love your accent mate.

Cut it out Lisa.

Say I’m stupid, please say it.

You’re stupid.

Again the group roared in laughter.

That’s enough Steven.

Awww sorry, what’s the matter? You don’t like us teasing your girlfriend?

Annie stop it.

That’s so sweet.

Lisa and I had started seeing each other two weeks ago and the group just won’t let us be.

Tosh especially won’t leave my ear. He keeps telling me I hit the jackpot and constantly asks me if she has a sister. C’m on bro, there’s no subtle way to say this, wiggle your ass to their colony and ask one of her sisters out. Though I must warn you they like tall, dark and bald ants not skinny light-skinned ants.

I will tell you guys the story once we get to the restaurant. The old lady said today she’ll give us a free meal.

Awesome!

The old lady’s restaurant was called, The Old Lady’s Restaurant. Creativity in our colony was a rare commodity.

It’s about time, have a million soldier ants and an express order for the Queen. You’re late.

Does this mean you’ll still give us free grain?

Only if we agree to deliver the Queen’s order?

If we agree? Are you kidding? Of course we will? I can’t wait to see the Queen. For Queen and Anthill.

Sit over there and give your order.

I was writing about us.

We’re going to be in a story? That’s cool.

Yeah, in the story we are all robants. Robot ants, get it?

We got it. You seriously need me if you’re going to write a tittle.

No I don’t.

I want to be the Queen.

No Lisa, you can’t be a Queen.

But why?

He wants you all to himself, Queens can’t have one suitors.

Annie stop.

Is that true Timmy?

I mean. Uhhhm. Yeah. Kinda. No. Let’s focus on Robants.

I love you Timmy.

What are Robants?

Kigen I just said it. Robot ants.

Really.

I’ll write it down for you.

I can’t read.

But you said you read the last story.

Did I?

Let’s order our food. I’ll have roasted wheat with fresh water.

Me, boiled bean with something stronger, rain water.

You think we’re in a bar Annie?

Lisa what about you?

I’ll have muddy water and roasted maize.

Kigen?

I’ll eat whatever Annie is eating.

It’s always the ones without an opinion.

Easy lover boy it’s not my fault I can’t read.

Eat up the Queen is waiting. Tomorrow I want more fresh leaves.

Can’t wait to meet the Queen? How big is she? I hear she has a hundred servants.

I wanna be her servant.

Tosh, you can’t even follow simple instructions. Or are you after that servant girl?

Bitch don’t kill my vibe.

With that attitude I won’t tell you when her shift ends.

How do you know her shift?

Babe I am a businessant.

Tell me and I’ll owe you one.

Bro you owe me one hundred. But Imma tell you anyway.

Let’s get going.

In my story we all have robots like little miss of the house beyond the hedge. Our cool gadgets and laser guns help us fight invading grasshoppers and snails. We melt them down and sell their bones in the black market so we are like vigilantes.

We protect the anthill like the interanthill soldiers of the Queen.

Check this place out. Guys remember the word fat is prohibited in here.

(see you next time for part two)

It's a trip! I'm an undergrad student of B. Sc. Geomatic Engineering and Geospatial Information Systems at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology.

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