Worthwhile.

For me it’s hard. Both beginning and ending relationships. Unlike everything else in my life, there’s no on and off switch. I just poured my heart out and the part of the message that was replied to was the most insignificant and the part that wasn’t the point.

Moving on, am I right? It sucks mostly because I don’t want to but I need to. I’ve told myself numerous facts like I am a poor communicator and she’d be better off, I enjoy doing very little things I could count them in one hand. Even the most obvious fact that she doesn’t love me. I’m the kind of guy people settle for not the jocks that girls go crazy over.

I’m in a slump and it’s not only from that. My academic performance isn’t what it used to be. But you know what, the problem isn’t in how to fix it all, it is in where to begin. As a person, I have no clue how to fix myself. I had a system, it no longer works so I have to improvise. I improvise a lot.

Back to the real reason I’m writing this. This morning I felt something I had not felt before. I regretted approaching her. I regretted knowing her. My life would have been rainbows and unicorns had I not followed through with contacting her.

Now look I’m left loving a person who doesn’t love me. Broke up with me telling me she had to reevaluate her decisions. And now she smiles at me everyday like draught to a fire, it keeps the hearth of my love warm. By the way she can’t stand corny stuff like this reference.
Sigh. We live we love we lose. Our task it to make them worthwhile.

It's a trip! I'm an undergrad student of B. Sc. Geomatic Engineering and Geospatial Information Systems at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology.

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