IDGAF

I try a lot. I guess it has always been in pursuit of something better. Mad credit to my subconscious for this because frankly I give up a lot. It’s a paradox.

Truth is I strive to be better each time and while most times it comes out as a mess other times the mess clears out to leave a crack of hope. Once again I unknowingly reach for it. I haven’t found a way out of the puddle yet though.

A book I’m reading is telling me I give way too many fucks. And also that it’s normal and so common but I didn’t bother to check that fact out because… Who gives a fuck how common giving a fuck is. But I digress. In the book, while it has super valid points it is heavily and bias in opinion leaning towards the author’s perspective. Then again reading his book you will come across disclaimers that while he’s giving a fuck about giving way too many fucks, there is no one way to anything. So he agrees that even his way isn’t the only way. This got me thinking.

Happiness, mostly comes from solving problems. Notice the word solving. It does not mean ending. Suffering doesn’t end.

Life is an endless thread of suffering, everyone is suffering. The rich suffer from their money, the poor from a lack of it. There is no ending suffering but then why would you try to move an ocean. An ocean can sink and float ships. It is both bad and good and therefore neither bad nor good.

He mentioned Charles Bukowski’s headstone message. The writer’s last message to the world; etched in concrete are the indelible words Don’t Try.

Apparently Bukowski didn’t succeeded by giving a fuck. He was pushed by circumstances that led him to simply not give a fuck anymore. He got his career going and still didn’t give a fuck.

Normally stories like this make me reevaluate my approach to certain things in my life. For example I began exercising to build confidence but later fell out of the practice once I realized it wasn’t the only way to becoming confident and I wasn’t doing it to build confidence anymore. I had been following the someone’s guide to enable me to fit into a certain image of things that may have worked or may possibly work or not work for him.

This last point explains why I am having trouble posting on MOAB. How do I suggest something to someone else that puts them in a box of my imagination

I didn’t fit in another’s imagination, their scope was either too wide or too narrow for me. So eventually, for now, I have arrived at the conclusion that

  • It is true there isn’t only one path to everything
  • I , and you, do not fit into someone else’s imagination. (This leads us to my final point)
  • Everyone is meant to solve their own problems. Your problems are tailored to fit you. The reason everyone who has solved their problems has a testimony is because that’s the correct way to go. That’s where you’ll find your happiness.

Finally this book I am reading is called The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck

I have exceeded my quota for saying fuck today but guest what…

deep ☾ on Twitter

I got a mind full of unsaid things.

It's a trip! I'm an undergrad student of B. Sc. Geomatic Engineering and Geospatial Information Systems at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology.

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